Healing trauma

Trauma operates on a subconscious level. It's an internal wounding that doesn't heal with time and often gets worse. Our minds just don't get it and we often get stuck in vicious cycles of self-judgement.

Trauma happens when we don't have the tools to process something. Pain is internalised in our bodies until we can get what we need to externalise it.

Trauma changes the wiring in our brains, leaving us feeling scattered and panicked, repeating the same stories and patterns without learning the lessons and changing our behaviour.

How does it affect our brains?

Our amygdala is the part of our brain that senses safety, like a smoke alarm. It becomes triggered much more easily, sending us into panic over small things other people can't relate to.

Our pre-frontal cortex is like an office without a filing system. All the notes are everywhere making it hard to feel organised and reliable.

Information doesn't make it to our hippocampus, which functions as our library, which is why we can't seem to learn from our experiences.

How do we heal?

The main thing we need to do is to find and create a sense of safety.

Most importantly, it starts with us valuing ourselves and feeling that we deserve to feel safe above all our other concerns.

It means putting ourselves in relationships where we feel respected and nurtured.

It means living and and working in environments where we don't fear harm and feel valid to express ourselves. We feel understood and receive what we need.

When we start to feel safe, in our bodies and in our minds, our sense of trust restores and life starts doing its thing, healing us from within. It's a terrifying and magical process.

All the blocks and fears held within us tremor shake and crash down, freeing up space inside of us for the life to come in. It's like a series of earthquakes followed by spring.

What causes trauma?

Feeling unsafe physically. You are in relationships and environments where you fear your body being harmed. You develop defence mechanisms which become chronic and self-sabotaging.

Feeling unsafe mentally. You are in relationships and environments where you don't feel understood and you stop expressing yourself, turning inward and becoming a shell.

Feeling unsafe emotionally. You've lost trust that your emotions will be met with empathy and responses. The force of your emotions is turned inwards. You detach and feel crazy.

Feeling unsafe spiritually. You don't feel like any part of you is protected from harm and feel like you no longer exist. You've lost a home within yourself.

What makes it worse?

Judgement

Lack of appropriate responses from those around you

Disconnection

Feeling isolated and alone

Hopelessness or the feeling that nothing and no one can help you

Criticism

Ideas of failure

Shame, which keeps trauma hidden and stops it from being treated

Hiding and dishonesty

How do you heal?

By feeling connected to yourself, other people and nature

Receiving empathy

Expressing yourself and feeling heard and received

Movement

Feeling appreciated, wanted, loved, supported and nurtured

Honesty and authenticity from yourself and those around you

Consensual and healing touch

Feeling attuned to nature

Helping others and having a sense of purpose and meaning

Listening to your body above anyone or anything else

By feeling safe, supported and rebuilding a sense of trust in yourself and the world.

Photos by Camila Solarz, from a retreat by the Institute of Devotional Arts, a very healing experience

What does that look like practically?

Make sure you have space held for you.

Find someone who understands trauma who can hold space and listen to your body so that they can facilitate what needs to happen. I particularly recommend somatic therapy as it focuses directly on your body, bypassing the triggering stories that can come up with talking therapies.

Dance, run, play.

Movement helps the body remember that it can move through this.

Find work or volunteer with people so that you feel part of community and have a sense of worth.

Write, sing, act, do contact improv, clown, paint.

Expression is your medicine.

Spend as much time as possible in nature. Nature holds the blueprint for healing. It always finds a way.

Change your life to exclude harmful factors and include what makes you feel safe, held, heard, understood, valued and appreciated. Listen to your body on this one. If it feels wrong, that's because it is.

Put yourself first. by listening to your body.

If your nervous system is activated, something needs to change. You'll know when healing is happening - you can't miss those breakthroughs.

Have patience.

Healing happens at the pace of trust. It can't be rushed but, believe me, it's worth it.